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What Your Favorite Homestuck Ship Says About You


Your ideal relationship dynamic is guys being dudes [What’s better than this?] Your ideal relationship dynamic is enemies to friends to lovers Your ideal relationship dynamic is the pale quadrant Your ideal relationship dynamic is [TWO BROS, CHILLIN IN A HOT TUB] [FIVE FEET APART CUZ THEY’RE NOT GAY] But the plot twist is that they actually are gay This is just the same joke as John and Dave but you’re also always a slut for canon validation You thought all the other
black quadrant couples in this series didn’t hate each other enough You just wanted good things for Nepeta and really, who wouldn’t? Your ideal date involves being stupid together Your ideal date involves getting stepped on Your ideal date involves pretending you’re not on a date because actually going on a real date wouldn’t be ironic enough You’re always a slut for a
constant state of mild resentment You are a firm believer in the inherent
eroticism of sesquipedalian verbosity You are a firm believer in the inherent
eroticism of trolling You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of getting really angry over some bullshit that probably doesn’t even matter You tried to matchmake your friend with “issues” with your other friend with the
opposite kind of “issues” because in theory they would even out and it would all work You think Vriska did nothing wrong You think Vriska did everything wrong You think Vriska did some things wrong You don’t understand why the edgy
boys have to hate the SJWs and the SJWs have to hate the edgy boys, why
can’t they all just be friends and possibly smooch each other? You believe the best relationships are built on a solid foundation of dank memes You got into Homestuck shortly after the end of your Hetalia phase You just wanted good things for Eridan. Which, one could argue could have saved everybody A LOT of trouble You ship Jake and Dirk but didn’t want these two to be left out of the romance. Perfectly balanced as all things should be If you had a gun with
two bullets and you were trapped in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Eridan you’d shoot Eridan twwice You want a girlfriend who’s smarter than you You want a girlfriend who’s smarter than you but you’re also heterosexual When you were in high school, you experienced a moment of unmitigated glee
when your really sheltered innocent friend finally said “fuck” This is just the same joke as Dave and Dave’s bro but you don’t understand why anyone would
ship a character who doesn’t even have have any lines Your interest in Dave’s
existing relationship dynamics is outweighed by your belief in Karkat’s shipping chart Your interest in Dirk’s existing relationship dynamics is outweighed by your identification with Roxy’s thirst Your interest in both these characters’ existing relationship dynamics is outweighed by your need for
a girlfriend who could kick your ass You don’t understand why all the big monsterfucker ships are male/male or male/female shouldn’t lesbians be able to
fuck monsters just as well as everyone else

Norman Bunn

100 Comments

  1. 1:29 I completely agree with why this is what this ship says about you.
    1:32 I completely agree with why this is what this ship says about you and everything else about this ship.

  2. My middle school and early highschool self feels attacked but my current self feels neutral

  3. SolNep: You believe in the trope that all computer geeks need a cat on their laps. And you also want good things for Nepeta.

    JohnRox: You like the concept of dorky guys getting with bombshell blonds who like dorky guys.

  4. Even tho my rare pair is missing (not surprised tho) the ones that I do ship that are on here are painfully accurate and I feel called the fuck out.

  5. i finally showed up fro this content in the year of our lord two thousand and nineteen and tbh it was worth it, well done

  6. if i had a gun with 2 bullets and was trapped in a room with hitler and eridan id shoot hitler twice because i would beat eridan to death with my bare hands

  7. Karkat x Dirk! What does this say?
    (They don't even interact! There is no fic! I don't care!)

  8. Sobbing holding Aradia,,, only once and with Sollux,,, need other Aradia ships,, she deserve better,,,

  9. This video yeeted me back to 2012 and it was a whole ass mood. All I needed was my great aunt sharing something about Kony 2012 on Facebook and it REALLY would’ve felt real

  10. "You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of trolling"…
    Yeah bout sums it up

  11. it makes me sad that i havent read homestuck in like 10 years and i understand half of this video

  12. i haven't been a big homestuck since like 2013 but this was exactly the video i needed.

  13. "Stridercest- You got into Homestuck shortly after your Hetalia phase"

    Me: Spits out soda I FEEL VERY ATTACKED RIGHT NOW!!!

  14. My favorite ship is JohnRoxy because I just wanted good things for John. I wanted him to be happy, man.

  15. The one where he said you got into Homestuck after your Hetalia phase hit waaaaay too close to home for me, big fella.

  16. Excuse me good sir but I think you missed a couple trillion ships there I mean no offense to you in just wanted to be through

  17. "When you were in high school you experienced a moment of unmitigated glee when your really sheltered, innocent friend finally said fuck."

    I WAS THE INNOCENT FRIEND!

  18. “You just wanted good things for Nepeta” I came here for nepeta content but this one hurt my heart

  19. I actually go for this fandom after years of Hetalia, but i didn't get that joke about Hetalia. Pls explain me somebody!!

    P. S. DO HETALIA. I BEG YOU

  20. June Egbert/anyone; you think you would lose your Woke Card if you admit you have a het ship.

  21. I can't believe someone has posted homestuck content in the 2019th year of our lord

  22. Just when you think you escape it, Homestuck comes back. No matter how long it always comes back

  23. "Your ideal date involves being stupid together." I mean you're not wrong, sounds like a good time-

  24. "You just wanted good things for Nepeta, and really, who wouldn't?"
    Me. I wouldn't.
    Just my opinion. Just don't like Nepeta. Especially shipped with Karkat. 😀

  25. Thank you for finally being the one to tell me that JohnDave is called "Hammertime". I was screaming.

    Please tell everyone JohnKat is called "Communism" and that GamTav is called "PB&J" and this is a perfect video

  26. To my immense disappointment, Kankri and Latula didn’t show up.

    You can’t just do that to me.

  27. So, on these kinds of videos there's always some stuff where I'm like "That's wrong. You're wrong." but absolutely and literally everything in this video was 100% accurate and I was just bitchslapped directly back into 2013

  28. dirk/caliborn also known as "you hate dirk and caliborn but you want them to suffer in a gay way"

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